It is no secret that when a doctor diagnoses you with Lyme disease, you will inadvertently hear more don’ts than dos from the people in your surroundings. For instance, “Don’t work out too much. The rigorous activity may agitate the Lyme bacteria and make the next days painful.” “Stop coming to work. You should not get stressed out since the symptoms may flare up.” “Avoid taking a shower too often. The water pressure might be a cause of discomfort for you.” “Don’t think of dating – that can lead to sex, which may trigger the illness.”
Although you know that these people mean no harm to you, you ought to remember that you are an adult now. You can make decisions that will make you happy. Your world does not have to stop spinning because a medical specialist confirmed that you have Lyme disease. Besides, staying away from such activities cannot get rid of the bacteria, so it is still best to pursue your dreams and follow your heart instead of letting the illness dictate how you should live.
Now, if dating is one of the things you want to try out of everything you are not supposed to do, you should go for it. It may turn out well, especially once you keep the following ideas in mind.
- Talk To The Other Person About Your Condition
It seems common for ill patients to hide their physical condition to a potential love interest when they are still in the getting-to-know stage. For one, they don’t want the person to run away or stay out of pity. Apart from that, they hope that by holding off that bit of information, the man or woman they are dating will see their other – read: better – qualities first.
The problem with this decision is that your relationship already starts with lies. You insist that you be perfectly fine when your entire body’s aching. In a way, you are depriving this individual of the opportunity to care for you and make decisions for himself or herself. Andrea M. Risi, LPC suggests to, “Think about the important facts of your diagnosis and be able to share them in a succinct way. If your new date has questions, answer them accordingly.” She adds, “Allow the other person time to digest the information, and be open to answering questions if he or she wants to talk more about it later.”
- Don’t Feel Guilty About Dating While Ill
Many people with Lyme or other diseases tend to embrace isolation. In their head, they do not deserve to love and feel loved because they are “broken.” The other person may not be able to reach their full potential or live happily since he or she will merely worry about them.
The reality, however, is that you should not be sorry for wanting to receive affection. Everyone can get lonely and admit that it is nicer to deal with issues when you have someone special on your side than to handle things on your own. “It is that feeling that holds a deep sense of isolation, emptiness, worthlessness, and feeling threatened,” Johnathan Martin, PsyD said. Moreover, you won’t be forcing anyone to stick with you, so you need not feel guilty about it.
- Avoid Doubting How You Feel
When you are finally dating, you may realize that there can be restrictions along the way. You set to go out with that special man or woman in your life, for example, but then you have to cancel last minute because you don’t feel okay. Even when your partner says he or she understands the situation, you tend to feel bad afterward and wonder if you should still be in a relationship.
When it happens, you need to scold yourself internally for thinking like that. “When you acknowledge your wants and needs, it’s more likely you’ll land a lasting relationship,” Jamie Long Psy.D. says. You did not force the symptoms of Lyme disease to flare up in that occasion. You cannot push yourself to move when your body screams that it can’t. Despite that, you do not have to doubt and re-validate how you feel all the time.
Show yourself some love. Don’t feel too scared to find love either. Think of the ideas above once you start dating. Good luck!